Hours in a Life
by Qualapec the She-Wolf
Summary: Sequel to Minutes in a Life. When the pain from the loss of his cousin becomes too great, Luke contemplates ending his pain for the last time. R


Disclaimer: I do not own Dukes of Hazzard or anything else that anybody could sue me for. I own nothing.

Hours in a Life

Enos Strate sped along the dark country roads; he didn't know where Luke had gone. It was no secret Luke was having a hard time dealing with Bo's death. Those two…they'd been so close. Enos couldn't imagine what it would be like to be so close only to lose someone so abruptly, and so violently.

He'd been close to Rosco, but he'd had nothing with his commanding officer even remotely resembling the brotherly bond the Duke boys had shared.

Enos himself still couldn't believe the accident had happened…Just yesterday he'd known Bo and Rosco would be there that day, and he'd known they'd be there the next day and the day after that. But now they'd never be there again, within the span of just a couple minutes they were no more. Not only that; but when Enos looked at a calendar, people going about their daily lives, or when he turned on the TV and watched the news. The calendar said there would still be a tomorrow. In their daily lives people may or may not read about the accident, some would cry a little, some would just say it was a shame. And on the news people all over the world just kept killing or blowing each other up. Or how a forest fire raged through wherever. The world kept on turning.

The young deputy was forced to think deeper than he had in his whole life. He could die tomorrow, or the day afterward. He could be in everybody's life one second and gone the next. Akin to somebody ripping you out of a picture. Despite his disappearance the world would just keep on turning.

It was a harsh reality; one Deputy Enos Strate may or may not have been ready to face.

Suddenly he was jerked from his thoughts as he rounded a bend he saw a form laying in front of him. He jerked the wheel to the right just in time as he hit the brake, and the squad car skidded to a stop. Enos climbed out; he'd managed to stop about four feet from where Luke lay. Close may only count in horseshoes and hand grenades but he'd come close enough to be extremely nervous. He fumbled around in the squad car for a moment, Luke was laying face down in the mud, and it didn't look like he'd reacted at all to Enos nearly hitting him. At first the deputy thought he might be unconscious. But when he shined the mini-mag light into Luke's eyes he got a response. The Duke opened his sapphire eyes. Enos couldn't get over how dead those eyes looked now. "Possum on a gum bush…what're ya doin' out her buddyroe? You alright?"

For a long while, Luke didn't respond, "…No…no I'm not, I don't reckon I ever will be again."

Putting all his thoughts, and grief aside he bent down to drag Luke into the cruiser. Luke was hard to get into the car, he didn't move a muscle to help, as if he'd given up on life entirely and just chose to go limp.

His friend needed help, and it didn't matter if the world wouldn't stop for one man's death, all Enos knew is that it would feel like his world would stop. All the grief Luke's death would cause, especially so close to Bo's…he didn't know if the Duke family could handle it.

And more importantly he didn't know if he could handle it.

VVVVV

Luke had almost cried when the car stopped only four feet from him. And probably would have if he'd had anything left in him to cry. Enos stuffed him into the back of the cruiser. It was quite a wrestling match, especially since Luke didn't help in the least. He didn't fight against it either. Nothing mattered anymore…

He'd killed his cousin…didn't matter whether or not he'd meant to; he was responsible.

Enos was ranting on about something. Luke wasn't really listening. He closed his eyes and tuned Enos out. Sleep was impossible so he didn't even attempt it. Thoughts and memories of his cousin plagued his mind. One in particular, of when Bo was five, Luke was nine. They were in the hayloft.

_"I promise there ain't no monsters in the hay loft."_

_"You sure?"_

_"Yeah, I'm sure. Besides even if there were I'd kick em into the next county 'fore I let em hurt you."_

_"You mean that, cuz?"_

_"Yeah…I'm always gonna look after you."_

_"You mean it?"_

_"Cross my heart and hope to die."_

He'd promised to protect his cousin. It was a vow he made as a young boy and a vow he'd withheld until the wreck…

How could he have broken a promise like that? Why couldn't it have been him who had died? Bo should have been the one to live…

God…it just felt like with every regret it felt like that hole was being ripped open again, keeping it from healing.

But after what Luke had done to his cousin he wasn't so sure he deserved to heal that wound.

But every time the pain was just so much…it brought him closer to the edge of his very sanity. Death would be a blessing? Why couldn't God have just let him die while he still had his mind intact?

Or was death too easy? Was his punishment for killing Bo an eternity of madness?

VVVVV

Luke was completely out of it. He mumbled words here and there. And Enos couldn't hear a word he was saying. As he pulled into the Duke farm he considered what he was going to tell Daisy and Uncle Jesse.

Daisy stepped out onto the porch. In the same black dress she'd worn that morning. She wasn't wearing much of anything for makeup. Only lip-gloss. She was still the prettiest girl in Hazzard, or even all the world as far as Enos was concerned. And it hurt him even more to see the effect that losing Bo had had on her. He couldn't imagine how she would feel if she lost Luke too. "Daisy…it's Luke…" He said solemnly.

Before he could even finish she started crying, she stumbled down the steps, wobbling lightly. Daisy had always been a pushover when it came to alcohol, and he figured she'd gotten into maybe a quarter cup of Uncle Jesse's shine. "He's dead isn't he?"

"No!" Enos said quickly

She fell apart in relief this time. And sank back downward onto the steps, crying more. Walking over leaning down next to her he put an arm on her shoulder while she let a few words escape the sobs, "I…I don't understand it…we're good people Enos, we try to be anyway…Bo…how could…how could any God do that to him?"

He had no answer for her as Uncle Jesse came to the screen door. He exchanged a look of understanding with Enos and stepped out onto the porch. "Where's Luke?"

Enos responded while Daisy sobbed softly, now against his shoulder with his arm wrapped around her back. "Luke's in the back of my car…it's hittin' him pretty hard…"

Uncle Jesse nodded, "I knew it would…sometimes I wondered if…if those boy's were too close for their own good…maybe I made some mistake…"

"You didn't make no mistake Uncle Jesse, it was an accident…plain and simple. None of us could've seen it coming and I recon none of us could have stopped it neither."

The old man paused, suddenly looking much, much older and weaker than he did. "I need to talk to Luke…I don't think I could live with myself after being spared one of my boys only to lose him to the grief."

VVVVV

Luke laid alone in the back seat of the cruiser when his uncle opened the door. "You mind if I sit down?" the old man asked.

"Nobody's stoppin' you…" Luke said drearily.

"Well move yer feet otherwise I can't sit down."

Without much more response, Luke shoved himself upright and sat in the seat. "…It's hard Uncle Jesse…the regrets, the guilt, the pain…it's all too much…"

"Now don't start talkin' like that…us Dukes have made it through horrible grief…and as long as we have each other we can always overcome it. 'Sides…what regrets can you possibly have?"

"…I can't…you…I loved Bo…loved him like a brother and I never told him…" Tears filled his sapphire eyes, "I knew, Uncle Jesse…I knew, I knew and I didn't stop him…I knew those roads were dangerous."

"You couldn't have known-"

"Yes!" Luke snapped, the only life within him, the fury surged up again, "I knew! I knew and I should have stopped him! None of this would have happened not a lick of it if I'd just said something."

The pent up rage became too strong, the bonfire too much to control. Luke lost it; his fist flew out with all the force he could muster from everything. From the anger, from the grief, from the guilt. It shattered the glass of the rear door window but didn't brake entirely. Spider cracks twisted out from where Luke's fist had hit and blood dripped from where contact had tore the skin on his knuckles.

He lost his strength. The oldest of the Duke cousins sagged back into his Uncle Jesse and cried. Long and hard.

VVVVV

When he woke up again he was back in the room he and Bo had shared. He didn't wake up screaming from dreams of the wreck or anything horrifying. If anything what he'd dreamed about had been far worse.

He'd dreamed about Bo. Dreamed he was alive and well and that the wreck was just some nightmare. Luke remembered that state of total bliss, thinking that it would be all right again. Only to wake up to the cold, dark room, and have that all ripped away from him again. The oldest Duke cousin took one shaky breath before rising from his bed.

The light in the bathroom hurt his eyes and he had to blink a couple of times. Turning on the water he cupped his hands and washed his face. Cold water felt good against his heated skin.

Then his eyes fell on it…Bo's razor…

How easy it would be to end his pain. Two deep strokes of a razor were all it took. Luke had the power to pull himself out of his own misery. He could be with his cousin again in a matter of minutes.

But even if he was punished for ending his own life, whatever hell he was sent to had to be better than what he was going through now.

Luke reached over and grabbed Bo's razor. Then proceeded to sit down on the edge of the bathtub, thinking. He played with the razor.

He couldn't live like this. Knowing every second of the day he'd killed his cousin.

The razor played with him too, offering an escape, a way to end the pain that would never cease.

It was true that Luke had survived the crash, but he was most certainly not alive.

He flipped the razor open and placed it over his left hand, getting himself ready to slice.

He closed his eyes.

And somebody knocked on the goddamn door.

Luke was so startled, he left a shallow cut, barely the width of a paper cut, on is skin. "Luke?" The muffled voice from the other end asked, it was Daisy.

He was bitter at having been interrupted. But no, it was better this way, he could say what he wanted to say to her. Just one less thing he'd have to be guilty about leaving this life. Scrambling as fast as he could to place the razor back where it was he strode over and unlocked the door for her. Although he never thought he'd think this about her, she looked terrible. She had little or no tolerance for alcohol, she could only drink a glass of Boss' watered down beer, but she couldn't drink any more than half a cup of Uncle Jesse's shine before the state of buzzed.

His cousin staggered over to the toilet. He moved quickly, grabbing her hair and pulling it back so it wouldn't get dirty.

Daisy wretched for about three minutes strong; Luke offering gentle words all along. When she was done she just started crying more, not even having the strength to rise to her feet she sagged against him. "I miss him Luke…I miss him…"

"I know hon…" He replied gently, hugging her tightly. Then proceeded to say what he knew he needed to say. To say what he had never once said to Bo, "Daisy…I love you, you hear? You may be my cousin by blood, but…you will always be my sister."

She sobbed harder before she finally replied, "I love you too, Luke…"

And it all hit him. He was in pain, unbearable pain…but if he died now, so soon after Bo's death, it would kill Uncle Jesse. Not to mention crush Daisy. And he didn't know how much more she could take. They needed him now. No matter how long he had to live with the pain, he had to live. If only for them.

VVVVV END

AN: Okay, I'll forgo the long speech. Up next is the fourth and final part "Days in a Life". As they bury Rosco, and prepare for Bo's funeral as well, Luke tries to learn to live without his cousin, and with the pain.

R&R Please


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